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2011 CALENDARS
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October
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Dear Sangha and Friends,
First the hike: on Saturday, July 17, four of us completed the second annual circumnambulation of Lake Peak. It was warm and sunny, an ideal day for ascending this beautiful mountain near Santa Fe. To read about the hike and see more photos, go to www,prajnazendo.org and click on "Off the Path, On the Way."
During the closing remarks for our July three day sesshin I searched for a word to characterize this sesshin. "Ragged" was what came to mind. I felt as though we were sailing choppy seas. This is an observation, not a judgment--I have always enjoyed sailing choppy seas. Why "ragged?" Several reasons, I think. We had people new to sesshin at PZ, so there was some struggling with form. Then there were personal crises, causing some coming and going among participants. And finally, I chose to skip dawn zazen so I could be home with my wife, Kathleen, who is recovering from knee surgery.
It was also a wonderful sesshin, but then I don't believe I have ever completed a sesshin, as student, sensei, or roshi, without feeling, "That was a wonderful sesshin." Nor have I ever completed a sesshin without feelings of deep gratitude--for this practice, my teachers, my fellow Zen students, and my life.
Why "wonderful?" Individual practice was strong, cooperation and mutual support brought harmony, Big Mind work on Dogen Zenji's "Genjokoan" was especially powerful.
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From August 1 through August 7, I joined four of Genpo Roshi's dharma successors and one Rinzai Roshi for one of Genpo's Big Heart retreats. For six hours each day we sat together in Genpo Roshi's cabin in the Wasatch Mountains to examine our strengths and weaknesses as teachers. It was intense, probing work, evoking deep feelings and characterized by extraordinary openness.
I came away with greater clarity and feeling empowered. I believe these qualities of clarity and empowerment are crucial to my work in the world. Indeed, I think they are critical for anyone seeking a meaningful life. I have seen power without clarity. It can be brutal and destructive. Clarity without power is helpless and leaves the one who possesses it indifferent or in despair. To have both, in balance, is why we practice Zen.
We also ate together, where the work continued through light-hearted camaraderie. Each afternoon we had a three hour break after lunch, and I took advantage of this time to walk in the mountains around the cabin. I've included a few photos from these walks. They were important to me, a way to decompress from the intensity of the work and to let the learning percolate through my being.

Stands of fireweed soften the boulders

Climbing up
resting in sunlight and mountain breeze
looking back

Early Morning Light
Throughout August we will continue our usual weekly schedule. The next opportunity for more intensive intensive practice will be a zazenkai on September 18. This one day retreat begins at 9 AM and goes until about 4:30 PM. To keep the cost down to $25 we ask you to bring your own lunch.
I wish you well in your practice and in your life and hope to see you at the zendo.
Gassho,
Musai
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Dear Sangha and Friends,
On Saturday, June 12, five sangha members joined me for my 75th birthday hike. Every year for the last 6 years, Jim Kando Green and I have attempted to climb Truchas Peak. Sometimes we get to the top, sometimes we don't. We have had to deal with washed out roads, thunderstorms, and fierce winds. On Saturday the weather was splendid, although once again so windy that when we got to the saddle, about 600 vertical feet below the peak, we all decided that climbing the exposed ridge to the peak was just too dangerous. The saddle is at 12,400', well above timber line, with spectacular views in all directions. The rocks up there are composed of beautiful, multicolored granitic crystals

Looking North from the trail up to the saddle

Jim, buffeted by winds on the saddle, showing why we decided not to go for the top. The hike was also a celebration of his birthday this month

Sticky Polemonium or Sky Pilot, nestled in the rocks at about 12,000'. It grows only at this altitude, in conditions where it seems nearly impossible for a plant of any sort, and yet here is this gorgeous, robust flowering plant.

The crew: from left, Mike, Jim, Niels, me, Nate, and Gerhard

Looking down into the cirque from the talus slope

To me, the cirque below the peaks is one of the most beautiful places on earth. I think, along with the peaks, it is my spiritual home
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We had a powerful seven day sesshin in May, with continued Big Mind work on Dogen Zenji's, "Genjokoan" (Actualizing The Fundamental Point). This poetic, yet simple and direct essay brings us back to the fundamental point of sesshin and of our practice: realizing our True Nature and bringing that realization into all the situations and relationships of our life.
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I receive some interesting responses from my sangha letters. I was intrigued by this one because it speaks of marriage, a subject that is not addressed much in Zen writing, either historical or contemporary. Yet most of the people who practice Zen are or have been married, including priests, and all the teachers I studied with have been married at least once.
Dear Musai,
I enjoyed reading your letter about the last sesshin. Surrender is indeed a huge aspect of our practice and I am reminded of it daily - whether it relates to health or anything else.
I do have a question about surrender. When it came to you and Hoju getting married, what made you decide to take the leap? What does marriage offer that not getting married does not offer?
That comes to mind when I think of surrender. Yes, we surrender to our teacher. And then we have our partners. I'm sure it's necessary to surrender although in an awakened way.
Thanks and I hope you are well.
Dear __________,
I would say that our decision was a decision to become life partners. Before that we were friends and lovers. We enjoyed each other's company, made each other laugh, brought each other pleasure, and wanted to spend time with each other. The shift to marriage was a shift to commitment. This commitment is unconditional, in the sense that each of us vows that whatever happens to you, I will be there for you. It is also a commitment whereby each of us promises to help the other realize his/her hopes and dreams, to help him/her toward fulfillment.
My work as a couples therapist has taught me that marriages tend in one of two directions. Either the members of the couple believe the other is concerned for and actively in support of their hopes and dreams, or they find themselves in a struggle for whose fulfillment has priority. If I believe I have to struggle with you in order to pursue what fulfills me then I will not be concerned for what fulfills you. I think it's clear that in the first case marriage is generally harmonious with a great deal of mutual satisfaction and appreciation. In the second case, marriage tends to deteriorate into a battle for whose needs and desires will be met. The second case is a vicious cycle, the first case a virtuous cycle. Look at the math: if we are working to help each other fulfill the hopes and dreams of both, then I have two people working on my fulfillment. If we are in a struggle for whose fulfillment has priority, then I have one person working for my fulfillment and one working against it.
The Buddha had very different messages about marriage for lay people and monks/nuns. He had advice to householders for how to be a good spouse and a good parent. For monks and nuns, marriage was considered an insurmountable obstacle to attaining liberation and following the Way. I understand the reasons for this. If I am particularly committed to the welfare of one individual, how can I follow a path of non-attachment, and how can I be equally concerned for the welfare of all beings? But most of us are really quite selfish. We want our own fulfillment first. At least if we place one other person's fulfillment on a par with our own we manage to move that much beyond our selfish desires.
Marriage involves surrender to another, but this surrender only works if it is mutual. If we surrender to each other, each of us is more generous, more compassionate, and, I believe, happier than we were before. If only one of us surrenders to the other there is imbalance, narcissism, and co-dependence. The ultimate surrender is always a surrender to what is. When marriage is a condition of our lives, we surrender to that.
Marriage is a form of attachment, and attachment is crucial in all human relationships. A parent who doesn't form a strong attachment to his/her child severely damages that child's development. Yet the Buddha was quite clear that attachment is a root cause of suffering, and Hui-neng, perhaps the most honored of all Zen Masters, made non-attachment the fundamental principle of his teaching. How can we reconcile the importance of attachment in human relationships with the Buddhist teaching that attachment leads to dukkha, suffering and dissatisfaction? We must attach and not attach. By all means, form strong attachments to other beings, then do not be attached to outcomes. I believe that it is not the strength of our attachments to others that causes suffering, but rather our attachment to how things will turn out. Once we let go of our agendas, our attachments are simply opportunities for practice, like all the circumstances of our lives.
I appreciate what Grace Schireson, in her excellent book, Zen Women, has to say about attachment. “As we in the West learn the meaning of nonattachment, we sometimes mistake the intended consequences of the practice and realization of ‘letting go.’ Letting go of our attachments means that we do not look to objects, circumstances, or people as a means to achieve happiness, but it does not mean we have no feeling. Our lack of attachment, our lack of demand that the universe meet our self-centered needs, enables us to be more fully present in our relationships.”
In my role as a couple therapist, some couples tell me that they don't need a marriage ceremony, that they are just as committed as any married couple. I am skeptical about this claim. Upon investigation, it always seems to come out that one or the other has some qualification about his/her commitment. "I am there for you unless or until..."
Sadly, gay and lesbian couples, at least in New Mexico, are denied the right to the commitment of marriage. I think this is a shame, and judging from developments in other states perhaps we will see this civil right extended to the gay community before long.
Marriage generally includes sex. Once again, the Buddha was explicit in distinguishing between sex for lay people and sex for monks/ nuns. Sudinna, a previously married man, had lapsed in his practice of celibacy and confessed this to the Buddha. Sudinna had sex with his ex-wife in order to impregnate her, to assuage her grief over her loss of her husband to the Buddha’s sangha. Sudinna emphasized the selflessness of this sexual act with his ex-wife and his sense of repulsion toward her. His sense of family duty conflicted with the Buddha’s command that he sever ties to his family. The Buddha was not impressed with this justification. He had this to say to the monk:
It would have been better, confused man, had you put your male organ inside the mouth of a a terrible poisonous snake than inside the vagina of a woman. It would have been better, confused man, had you put your male organ inside the mouth of a black snake than inside the vagina of a woman. It would have been better confused man, had you put your male organ inside a blazing hot charcoal pit than inside the vagina of a woman. (“Vinaya Pitaka”, quoted in Zen Women)
Zen teachers have always had a more nuanced attitude toward sex. Grace Schireson has much to say about sex in Zen practice. One story I found especially amusing has to do with a 15th Century Japanese nun named Yoshihime. She went from her convent to nearby Engakuji monastery to attend a dharma talk.
“The gatekeeper at Engakuji required an expression of Zen understanding from prospective attendees as the price of admission to the lecture. Yoshihime, said to be ugly and exceptionally strong, was the daughter of a general. The gatekeeper blocking her entry to the Engakuji lecture shouted: ‘What is the gate through which all buddhas come into the world?’ Yoshihime grabbed the gatekeeper’s head and forced it down between her legs: ‘Look, look,’ she said!” (Schireson, pp 203-204)
My own feelings about sex are congruent with my feelings about working toward mutual fulfillment in marriage. If sex involves mutual pleasure and respect then it is just one more field of practice.
We should be aware, when making a commitment to another, that we do not, cannot know that other. A person is not a fixed thing. Of course, there are no fixed things, only process and continual transformation. This is what the Buddha meant by dependent co-arising. We identify separate things for expediency, and if we identify a brick or an automobile as a fixed thing we probably aren’t doing harm. But if we regard a human being as a fixed thing we are committing a grave mistake. Our commitment must be to the unfolding of our partner, with the humility to realize that we cannot fully know him or her. Master Hogen might have been giving marital advice when he said, “Not knowing is most intimate.” This is reflected in the first tenet of the Zen Peacemaker Order: “Not knowing, giving up fixed opinions about how things are” (or who my spouse is.)
As someone changes, what represents fulfillment for that person changes, so even marriages that have been good can end in divorce. In fact, I can think of only one of my married friends who is still in his first marriage. Divorce is painful, a fact to which I can personally attest, and I believe it is sometimes the best solution. Hopefully when a couple settles on divorce it can happen with mutual respect, without bitterness and recrimination.
I appreciate your question. Obviously it set me to thinking. I will use the subject for a dharma talk tomorrow.
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That dharma talk, and another new one on Birth and Death,have been placed on the Prajna Zendo website, under Dharma Talks. Also the schedule for the first part of 2011 is now ready. I invite you to join us.
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On Saturday, June 26, we will have a zazenkai at PZ. This one day retreat begins at 9 AM and goes till about 4:30 PM. The cost is only $25. Bring your own lunch and show up at the zendo around 8:30 AM
Gassho,
Musai
Dear Sangha and Friends,
We completed our Spring 7 day sesshin on May 23. If the depth and intensity of a sesshin can be assessed by insights, breakthroughs, struggles, and outbursts of joy in dokusan meetings (private interviews with teachers), then this was an exceptionally deep and powerful sesshin. Both Daishin Sensei and myself dealt with health issues during this sesshin. It is a tribute to the strength of our sangha that in spite of this, se

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The notion of surrender and its relevance to our practice was much on my mind during this sesshin. Surrender is a term that causes anywhere from a little uneasiness to outright indignation in most people in our culture, and yet I believe it to be a crucial aspect of Zen practice. But surrender to what or whom? How will this surrender take place, and what will it look like?
No-self is a fundamental principle of Buddhism. The Buddha taught that this self, so carefully and diligently developed, and so convincing as an entity separate from all other entities, is a delusion. Of course, all other separate entities are also delusions, and all this is the realm of the "Apparent," to use Master Tozan's term. In the Realm of the "Real," there is only one ineffable process. To Realize our True Nature is to experience ourselves as this one ineffable process, thereby bringing an end to suffering and dissatisfaction (dukkha, in Sanskrit).
It is all very well to conceptualize this, but it doesn't bring and end to dukkha . For that to happen one must experience the reality of unity and the provisional nature of the self. This is liberation. To appreciate how this can happen, we have to understand what perpetuates the illusion of a separate self. The answer most commonly presented when citing the Buddha is clinging and aversion, and I have no doubt that this is true. From my perspective as a psychotherapist, there is another answer: the stories we tell ourselves.
Not being a child development specialist, I can't tell you just when it starts, but I know that from a very young age we begin to formulate a story about ourselves as separate beings. We must. Without a workable story we cannot live in the world. Depending on our inherited abilities and our experience of childhood, we develop a story that lets us live happily and productively in the world, or we develop a deficient story, that causes suffering for ourselves and others. Psychotherapy is basically about transforming deficient stories into workable stories. I believe this profession is an honorable one, Right Livelihood, and yet it does not bring an end to dissatisfaction, nor is it intended to do so. 
The promise of Buddhism is an end to suffering and dissatisfaction. This does not mean that we get rid of a self that is dissatisfied. The self will always experience dissatisfaction. It must and it should. The promise of Buddhism is that we will be able to experience No-self as well, which brings an end to dissatisfaction. To attain this, we must surrender our stories.
This is not an easy thing to do. We are deeply convinced by the stories we have so painstakingly constructed. How can we surrender them? The Buddha and the enlightened teachers who followed offered us a practice, dharma in Sanskrit. So we surrender to that. But in order to surrender to a practice, there must be one who articulates and guides the practice, so we surrender to a teacher. And most of us need a community in which to practice, so we surrender to that: sangha in Sanskrit.
So to answer the questions I posed above:
To what or whom do we surrender? Ultimately, to who we have always been, to what is, to our True Nature.
How do we do it? Practice, which always involves surrender.
What sort of practice? The practice you settle on with your teacher and engage in with your sangha
What will happen when I surrender? No one can tell you, except to say that your awakening will be unique to you.
Surrendering our stories, referred to as Realization in Zen, is by no means the end of the process. Then the challenge is to bring that Realization into the fabric and activity of our lives. this is called Actualization and is the topic for another sangha letter.
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Immediately after sesshin, we celebrated one participant's birthday. Our Ino (chant leader), Maggie Daigu Muchmore, clearly having gone 'round the bend, recited this gatha of her own creation:
MO MO HAN TOGETHER
TAURUS TAURUS BIRTHDAY CAKE
ROSHI GOT A TUMMY ACHE
SICKEE SENSEI SAW A DOC
SANGHA SITTIN' ON A CLOCK
YO TO HOJU ON DA CHOW
CHEEKY SEIKI SHOWIN' HOW
ORYOKI CHEW CHEW CHEW
YOGURT ON A RAKUSU
EATIN' EATIN' QUICK QUICK QUICK
AVACADO ON A STICK
YO TO "I" AND NO TO "YOU"
CANDLE STICK IS BLOWIN' THROUGH
CREAKY CREAKY IN DA BONE
GOTTA HONDA TAKE IT HOME

The Saturday after sesshin I went hiking--up the Rio en Medio for a few miles, over the ridge to the next drainage, down the Rio Nambe,over two ridges back to the Rio en Medio, and back to my truck. A hike to welcome summer--new foliage everywhere and wildflowers in abundance. Waterfalls, one after another, along the Rio en Medio.
With gratitude for the sangha, the summer, and the wilderness,
Musai
Dear Sangha and Friends,
Here is an e-mail that I just sent out to our members:
Dear Prajna Zendo Members,
Hoju just updated me on our membership and I want to thank you all for your support. Due in part to your donations we actually finished 2009 in the black. I know that many of you give much, much more than money to the sangha, and thank you
for that as well.
We are a small organization, and thanks to the money and energy donated by you, our members, we are also a vital and flourishing organization. Here is our mission statement from the website:
To provide a supportive environment for the teaching and practice of Zen Buddhism
To actualize the principles and practices of Zen Buddhism through family, community, work, the arts and service to others
To ensure the continuation of this teaching and practice for future generations
Thanks to you we are fulfilling this mission.
Gassho,
Musai
I am sending this e-mail out to all of you in the hopes that more of you will choose to contribute to Prajna Zendo by becoming members. Membership is $30.00/month or $300/year, and entitles you to discounts on all PZ programs and activities. Membership fees are an important part of our annual budget and we are very grateful for this source of income. You can now donate online at our support page, using Pay Pal, as well as pay and register for workshops.
Gassho,
Musai
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Dear Sangha and Friends,
The February three day sesshin gathered in some folks who have been away from Prajna Zendo for a long time, as well as some who have never sat sesshin with us before. I am always intrigued by the paths our lives take and grateful when that path brings someone to practice the Buddha Way with me. Perhaps the meandering path of my own 40 years of practice makes me especially attuned to those who’s practice has unfolded in a similar way.
There are many ways of being intimate. I am sometimes astonished by how intimate the connection in sesshin can be. After all, there is almost no physical contact and very little verbal contact. The intimacy of sesshin, I believe, arises from our shared effort to realize our True Nature. We share the difficulty, the discipline, the frustration--and then the deep sense of fulfillment when glimpses of our True Nature arise.
Since intimacy surrounds you, it is fully intimate; it is beyond intimate. You should clearly study this. thus the person becomes the correct heir of Buddha ancestors. Right now is the very moment when you are intimate with yourself and intimate with others.
Dogen Zenji
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The weekend before sesshin, after a new snowfall, I decided to climb Picacho Peak. It is not a difficult climb--three or four miles and a thousand vertical feet on good trails. I hiked most of the morning, breaking trail through the fresh snow, while the overcast sky cleared and brilliant sunlight illuminated the trees and rocks, their outlines softened and merged in the snow.
Almost to the summit, I saw fresh footprints. Someone else had hiked up from the other side. I was wondering who I might meet in this glorious landscape, when I encountered an angel. Coming down from the peak was young woman, radiant from her ascent. There we were, male and female, young and old, sharing our delight with the fresh snow and sunlight. Only a few words were exchanged before we went our separate ways, and yet, another sort of intimacy.
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The week after sesshin, I sent out an invitation to those in our sangha who sometimes accompany me on my more strenuous hikes. Nate joined me, and together we spent 9 hours exploring the amazing rock formations of the Ojito Wilderness. This is dry country South and West of Santa Fe, where gnarled and twisted junipers are the predominant tree and sandstone has been sculpted into fantastic shapes, known locally as “hoodoos”
Traces of Spring were few--not a green leaf nor a flower--but the wind out of the Southeast was warm, Spring was in the air. In a stock pond we saw some beautiful black and white ducks, already eager for the journey North, and toward the end of the day two mountain bluebirds, their vivid mating plumage so intense in that landscape of earthtones that it brought tears to my eyes.
This is another form of intimacy that I treasure--intimacy with this land, its waters, plants and creatures. Walking in the wildlands of Northern New Mexico over many years, in all seasons, these place have claimed me. I come here for refuge, for adventure, and to experience the life here as my own life.

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On March 20, Prajna Zendo is holding a zazenkai. This day of practice includes zazen and a dharma talk. We start at 9 AM and finish around 4:30 PM. This is a good way to explore more intensive practice if you are a new to Zen, and all of us can benefit from setting aside a day to deepen our practice. Bring your own lunch. The suggested donation is only $25.

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April 24 and 25 I am leading a two day Big Mind workshop. The first day is a basic Big Mind workshop, and the second day we will explore just how we create this seemingly well-defined entity that we call a self and which the Buddha taught is non-existent. We will go on to examine how, in a practice based on Vast Emptiness and No-self, we can live an ethical life and engage in moral behavior.
I have been leading Big Mind workshops for several years now. In my first encounter with Genpo Roshi’s new way of presenting the Buddhadharma, I knew that this was a teaching that could convey the subtleties of the Dharma with immediacy and clarity.
Big Mind is a process for investigating the nature of mind at the confluence of authentic Zen practice and Western psychology. In this work, developed by Genpo Merzel Roshi, we explore disowned voices of the dualistic self, experience Original Mind, and discover the integration that is the Awake Self .
(from the Big Mind flyer)
The important work of investigating and maturing the self is not neglected in this process, as it so often is in spiritual practices. Integrating the insights of Western Psychology and the liberation offered by Zen practice, Big Mind offers a path to living an awakened and empowered life
These workshops are aimed at Mental Health professionals, who can receive Continuing Education Units for participating. All who wish to deepen and clarify their Zen practice, as well as those investigating Zen for the first time, are welcome to attend. Contact me at 505-982-3110 or musai@prajnazendo.org for more information on the workshops.
Gassho,
Musai Roshi
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Sea and Land

like Relative and Absolute--

where they meet
we find our life
When we surrender to the Way,
no problems,
only opportunities--
take them now.
Dear Sangha and Friends,
I have just returned from another of Genpo Roshi’s Mahasangha retreats, on the Island of Ameland, off the coast of Holland, in the North Sea. The participants, almost 300 this year, come from all over Europe and America, and usually a few from Australia, South America, etc. This is a wonderful opportunity for me to participate in Genpo Roshi’s Big Mind workshops and to meet with other teachers to discuss common concerns. I gave a dharma talk there, which I hope to post on the Prajna Zendo website soon, and had numerous dokusan interviews with students at all levels of practice. This community, gathering once a year for a week, is unique, and the meeting set me to thinking about community and communities within communities.
Before going to Ameland, I spent a few days with Tenkei Roshi at his Zen River Community, in the North of Holland. Tenkei Roshi is a dharma successor of Genpo Roshi, so his community is strongly connected to Genpo Roshi’s Kanzeon Sangha. And yet how different they are, each reflecting the temperament of their leader.
While I was at Zen River, I gave a dharma talk on the complementarity of the two opposing impulses that support our practice. When the Buddha was born, he took seven steps, pointed to the sky with one hand and to the earth with the other and exclaimed, “Beneath the heavens and upon the earth, I alone am The World Honored One.” When he experienced his great enlightenment, after sitting for seven days and seven nights, he looked up at the morning star and said, “Wonderful! Wonderful! I and all beings and the great earth itself simultaneously attain the Way.”
These two positions, “I alone” and “I and all sentient beings” constitute the paradox that informs our practice. It is only through my own effort that I can realize my True Nature. A teacher can offer guidance, a community can offer support, a practice can offer skillful means, but, finally, it is up to me. Sometimes we say, “All alone on your black cushion.” Of course, what I realize through my singular effort is that any appearance of separation is a delusion. There is only One Mind, Big Mind, Shunyata--refuge for the yearning, dissatisfied self.
I gave a dharma talk at Prajna Zendo last Sunday, that I hope will soon be on our website, on this subject of individual effort and community. We in America exalt individual effort and have a deep distrust of community. Perhaps that is why Maezumi Roshi, my root teacher often said that of the Three Treasures, Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, Sangha (community) would be the most important in the West.
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I wish you all continued realization as this year unfolds, and invite you to participate in our communal practice. Our next sesshin will be February 11-14, beginning the evening of 2/11 and ending around 11 AM on 2/14. You may attend all or only part of sesshin. Please let me know if you plan to attend, so we can plan for food.
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On April 24 & 25 I will lead Big Mind workshops in Santa Fe. These workshops are designed for mental health professionals and anyone may attend. The first day is a basic Big Mind workshop, the second day is titled, “Creating a Self, Ethical Codes, and Great Compassion.” It will explore the basis for ethical behavior from a Zen Buddhist perspective. A poster for this workshop appears on our website.
Gassho,
Musai
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Sometimes exalted
on a peak,
sometimes struggling
through broken country--
always the earth
affirms our True Nature
and supports our aspirations
Dear Sangha and Friends,
The old year ended with a full moon and a blue moon (2nd full moon in one month.) The joys and sorrows of the past year are behind us now. As with each full moon, we atone for our greed, anger and ignorance and renew our vows to live according to the precepts and to:
serve sentient beings, even though they are numberless,
put an end to attachments, even though they are inexhaustible,
master the dharmas, even though they are boundless,
and to attain the unsurpassable Buddha Way.
Thank you all for your participation in the practice during the past year and for your support of Prajna Zendo.
This is my heartfelt wish for the new year:
May I and all beings be free of suffering
May I and all being appreciate our True Nature
May I and all beings be at peace.
Within light there is darkness,
But do not try to understand that darkness;
Within darkness there is light,
But do not look for that light.
Light and darkness are a pair,
Like the foot before and the foot behind in walking.
The Identity of Relative and Absolute
Dear Sangha and Friends,
We just finished rohatsu, the seven day sesshin that honors the great enlightenment of Shakyamuni Buddha, on December 8, Bodhi Day. This is always an especially powerful sesshin, perhaps because of Bodhi Day, perhaps because it comes at the darkest time of year and we are all a little more motivated to seek the light.
This year several new members joined us, three of whom received jukai, the ceremony of commitment to the Buddha Way. These students of the Way had already spent several months in preparation before the actual ceremony. There are classes, and each student must prepare a lineage chart and hand sew a garment called a rakusu. This rather complicated, bib like garment is the lay equivalent of the Zen priest’s kesa, or outer robe.
At the jukai ceremony the students receive a dharma name. Now John Talley, in his 80’s, is confirmed as Sodo, The Way Of The Patriarchs; Adam LaVail has opened his Zen Mind as Zenshin; and Maggie Muchmore, who has long identified herself as a fool, is now Daigu, Great Fool. Jukai is a lovely and moving ceremony, and friends and family of the participants joined us in celebration.
Linda Kenji Strong marked the end of her year as Practice Leader at Prajna Zendo with a Hossen ceremony. She gave a talk on Case 20 of the Book of Serenity, in which Monk Hogen speaks of an aimless pilgrimage, Master Jizo asks about the purpose of this pilgrimage, and Hogen says he doesn’t know. “Not Knowing is most intimate,” replies Master Jizo, and Hogen attains great enlightenment. Kenji’s account of the aimless pilgrimage of her own life left her listeners defenseless with laughter, then she finished everyone off with her succinct wisdom in the dharma combat that follows the talk. A deep bow of appreciation, Kenji.
We initiated oryoki meals at Prajna Zendo with this sesshin. Oryoki is the formal, three bowl meal procedure of Japanese Zen. With oryoki, meals become another form of meditation and sesshin is strengthened. Everyone seemed delighted with this development.
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The new Off The Path, On The Way program is proving more popular than I anticipated. (See the website for details.) Several people joined me for the first hike, and several have signed up for a hike this weekend in the red rock country north of Abiquiu. Photos from the first hike are on our website. For me, the Buddhadharma is most vividly apparent in wild places, and while “pilgrimaging aimlessly” in the mountains, mesas, and canyons, of Northern New Mexico, I am most awake. I am very gratified to find that sangha members want to join me in these rather strenuous, off trail adventures.
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On Wednesday, December 23, at 5:30 Pm, I will be giving a dharma talk at Upaya Zen Center on “Jesus, God, and Buddha.” Since childhood, Christmas has been a joyful time for me, and having both a son and a granddaughter born on Christmas Day has only increased the significance. There is so much in common between Christianity and Buddhism, even though fundamentalists in both religions would create division where harmony might prevail.
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We will not have a New Year’s Eve program at Prajna Zendo this year, so I will wish you all a Happy New Year, and hope to see you in 2010.
Gassho,
Musai
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To remove oneself from the doting of kin and family,
to sit upright in a grass hut,
to circle beneath the trees,
to be a friend to the voice of the brook and the hue of the hills--
these are the practices adopted from the ancient sages and the model for ages to come.
Ryokan
Photograph: Alamo Canyon, October 2009, Musai Roshi
An Invitation
Dear Sangha and Friends,
Once or twice a month I go on a long hike somewhere near Santa Fe. These hikes are rather strenuous. I am usually out for 8 or 9 hours and walk 10-15 miles. Usually a good portion of each hike is off trail. I have mapped out dozens of hikes within a 1 1/2 hour drive of my home (3 hours is the maximum amount of time I want to spend on the road for a day hike.) I hike year round--in summer I hike the mountains, in winter the canyons and badlands at lower altitudes.
I generally go alone on these hikes and I would like to extend an invitation to you to join me. I am creating a list of those who might enjoy such an expedition from time to time. Let me know if you would like to be on this list, and when I am planning a hike I will let you know. Sometimes I know a week or more in advance when I am going to hike, sometimes only a day or two. No obligation to join me, of course. If you decide that you would like to participate in a particular hike I will arrange a time and place for us to meet, either in Santa Fe, if you live here, or at the trailhead, if you live out of town. We have added a new page to this website: "Off the Path, On the Way" , with photographs I took on our first hike..
Gassho,
Musai
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Dear Sangha and Friends,
Only a month now until we begin our annual rohatsu sesshin. During this darkest time of the year, we sit and study together for a week, to experience for ourselves what Shakyamuni Buddha realized 2500 years ago. He vowed to sit beneath the Bodhi tree until he had resolved the questions that tormented him. Why is life filled with so much suffering and dissatisfaction? What am I doing here? Who am I, really? After sitting for seven days and seven nights, he looked up at the morning star and exclaimed, "Wonderful! Wonderful! I and all beings and the great earth itself simultaneously attain the Way."
We sit sesshin because we have precisely the same questions that so disturbed Siddartha Gautama, and we sit with the faith that we, too, can realize what the Buddha realized. That is his promise: undertake this practice and you will realize your True Nature.
This year, in Big Mind practice, we will investigate the teachings of Zen Master Eihei Dogen, in his "Genjo Koan" (Actualizing the Fundamental Point). I invite you to join us--for the whole sesshin or for a day--so we can practice together and actualize the fundamental point for ourselves. [A translation of the Genjo Koan is online at http://genjokoan.com/, but the translator is not acknowledged. The translation I'm using is by Kazuaki Tanahashi in MOON IN A DEWDROP.]
We begin rohatsu sesshin this year Sunday evening, December 6, and end Sunday morning, December 13. Let me know if you plan to attend, so we can plan for meals.
Gassho,
Musai
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Nambe Lake from Lake Peak

Climbing to the Summit
Dear Sangha and Friends,
Last Saturday nine people joined me on what I hope was the 1st annual circumnambulation of Lake Peak. It's about a ten mile hike, climbing from 10,000' to 12,500', with about a third of the hike off trail. The scenery is spectacular, from deep forest to exposed ridges and then Lake Peak. Standing on the peak, we could see storms not far away to the East and West, with the Eastern storm an opaque, purple-black density of torrential rain. Above us the sky was clear and the sun shone upon us.
The first and third legs of the hike we socialized in pairs and small groups. The middle three hours of the hike we climbed off trail in silence. I love these off trail journeys, where mindfulness is crucial. The irregularities and the hazards of the terrain demand it. Without a trail, our experience of the mountain is raw and intimate. Climbing above 11,000' is strenuous and, consequently, slow--even slower without a trail. Finding one's way over steep slopes, fallen trees, and boulder fields, engagement with place is vivid and compelling.
At the Summit

At particular locations we stopped and chanted Buddhist sutras and dharanis, and I concluded each chant with a quote from John Muir or Dogen Zenji. Whenever I walk in the mountains I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be immersed in such magnificent country. The gratitude always extends to my companions and at the end of this trip I felt a special bond with those who had joined me. I hope to repeat the journey next year.
Musai Resting
We have a journey of a different sort coming up in October. October 15 through 18 Prajna Zendo will hold a 3 day sesshin. As usual, I will be doing Big Mind work with participants Friday and Saturday afternoons. During the Big Mind work of this sesshin we will examine how we create a self through the skandhas of Form, Sensation, Perception, Discrimination, and Consciousness. What is the value and the limitation of this constructed self, and how can we transcend it to experience our True Nature?
December 6 through 13 we will hold our annual rohatsu sesshin, the retreat honoring the great enlightenment of Shakyamuni Buddha. Almost 2500 years ago he vowed to sit upright in solitude and silence until he had penetrated the mystery of his existence and brought an end to his suffering. After seven days and nights, he looked up to see the morning star, and realized the culmination of his long search. "Wonderful, wonderful! I and all beings and the great earth itself simultaneously attain the Way."
Come join us for this or the October sesshin--or both--and find out what he was talking about.
Gassho,
Musai
Lars on a Rock


Nate under a Camp Robber (Gray Jay)
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Our webmaster, Nancy Jisho St Clair, continues to refine our website. Quite a few of my dharma talks are available now on the website. I invite you to listen: www.prajnazendo.org
If you are receiving this letter, and you are not a member, consider becoming a member and supporting Prajna Zendo financially, Contact Kathleen Hoju O'Rourke. You can now donate online on our Support Page.
All Photographs taken by Musai Roshi
Gaining the saddle
resting among peaks and clouds